A girl or a boy? Is it okay to have a preference?

Is it okay to prefer a boy or girl baby? When asked the question (by only the most daring of individuals) you’re likely to be granted either of two responses:

Response A (sometimes accompanied by a look of horrified disbelief) will be the ‘as long as the baby’s healthy’ response.

Response B will include an actual answer – ‘yes, I’d love a little girl’ or ‘I think I’d prefer a boy having grown up in a family of boys’, which will always be qualified with ‘but as long as the baby’s healthy, of course.’

It’s interesting that the question is still often taboo. It seems not politically correct to voice an answer, in spite of the fact that we might actually have a preference. The argument is that there are so many couples out there who struggle to fall pregnant and for those of us who are preggers, a happy, healthy baby is all that matters – to say or think otherwise (in light of preferences) is disrespectful to the men and women longing and trying for children.

But dear mums (and dads), we also have the right to ‘keep it real.’ I think that it is a fundamental principle: parents, in spite of maybe preferring a girl or boy, will love their child irrespective and will definitely be overjoyed with a baby that is healthy and happy. It’s a given.

I have a mummy friend who has three daughters and is pregnant a fourth time, and is hoping for a boy. She also hoped for a boy when she was pregnant a third time and was blessed with a beautiful girl, who she absolutely adores and would not change for the world.

I am the mum of two girls and if I am fortunate enough to have a third baby, I’d love a boy but I’d be as happy with another precious girl. And as the owner of two crazy brothers, I definitely felt like I’d be a better boy mum when I was preggers the first time… but I am in love with my two girls and think that in fact I am an awesome ‘girl mum.’

My husband was totally freaked out about a girl – Would he break her? How would he bath her and change her nappy? Turns out he’s a natural.

Perhaps you’ve had one boy (or girl) and would like another because you know what to expect? Maybe you grew up in a family of girls and would like a daughter of your own, or maybe you’d like a boy to change things up a bit? Everyone has different reasons and some people may have preferences for no apparent reason at all. Our contexts inform our opinions, choices and feelings – it’s just the way life works.

Not only is it okay to have a preference but it’s also okay to voice your preference if asked. It’s normal. Some people genuinely don’t have a preference and others who do often feel guilted into denying it, which is not real or necessary!

I also thing that ‘guessing the sex’ and talking about boy and girl babies is all part of the fun!

What do you think? Do/did you have a gender preference re your baby? Is it okay to a have a preference and to voice that preference when asked?