Frozen is Coming to the Stage!

Just when you thought the Snow Queen and her motley gang of supplicants had done the world a favour and finally frozen over, the F-word cash factory is back in business again – this time on Broadway.

Frozen is Coming to the Stage!

(Meaning the only thing to die a miserable hypothermic death will be parents’ short-lived reprieve from grotesquely kitsch fake hair plaits, a billion babies named Elsa, and blue blimmin’ everything).

Disney announced this month plans to bring a staged musical adaptation of Frozen – the smash animated film with the power ballad whose title is ironically antithetical to its annoying staying power – to Broadway in the spring of 2018.

In case you’ve been spending the last three years in a cryogenic time capsule, the Frozen storyline, inspired by a fairytale by Hans Christian Andersen, is about a princess (Elsa, ultimately the Snow Queen of Arendelle) with a difficult-to-control ability to generate ice, and her doggedly loyal, ever-forgiving sister, Anna.

The stage show will be the ninth musical that Disney has brought to The Great White Way, including, most famously, The Lion King.

Featuring the same writers as the film, including Jennifer Lee, who wrote the screenplay and was a co-director of the film, the production will also boast music and lyrics by Kristen Anderson-Lopez, who wrote the songs for the movie. (Thanks a bunch, btw, Kristen.)

Derision aside, at least this isn’t another sequel; it’s a play, it’s art, so it doesn’t smack entirely of commercial exploitation. And the sappy culturephile in me can forgive almost anything that happens on a stage.

Plus, UK mums and dads’ll be spared at least a brief agony from Let It Go sing-a-longs while we wait for the ice storm to hit the West End…

But it will happen.

Winter is coming.