Scientist Writes Book to Send Children to Sleep in Minutes

Behold, all parents to mini humans who resist the call of slumber! Herewith is the anecdote, the magical tome, which will send your wired lil’ cherubs into lala land as quick as a wink — or thereabouts

Scientist Writes Book to Send Children to Sleep in Minutes

The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep is the latest publishing phenomenon taking the world (i.e. Amazon) by storm.

Created by Swedish behavioural psychologist and linguist Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin, the book uses psychological techniques with the claim to “send children to sleep quickly” — and it’s obviously proving far more popular with the fatigued parental demographic than the big name chart-toppers, including even Harper Lee’s highly anticipated Go Set A Watchman.

The 26 page paperback, which is the first self-published work to ever top the Amazon bestseller list, uses positive reinforcement techniques to help children relax, focus and eventually drift off.

Parents are instructed to yawn frequently, emphasise certain words and speak in soporific tones while working through the book – there are pictures, but scientists advise that children listen rather than read along. (Probably best, because the creepy illustrations of emaciated, spaced-out lagomorphs is undoubtedly the fodder of nightmares.)

The story follows Roger The Rabbit, who is advised by Uncle Yawn, the Heavy-Eyed Owl and the Sleep Snail to “think slowly, breath slowly and calm, slow and calm” and “let your whole body be heavy, so heavy it feels like it falls… just like a leaf, that falls down, slowly down, down… Your eyelids are so heavy.”

Hypnosis for kids, in short.

Forssen Ehrlin says it’s “the verbal equivalent of rocking a baby to sleep”, helping the child “to focus and make them a part of the story so that they fall asleep along with the rabbit.” Yeah. Ok.

To date, there’s hundreds of online reviews from parents singing the sleep aid’s praises:

“I’m actually speechless!” one parent exclaims on Amazon. “I’m sat here waiting for someone to pinch me. Bedtime just went from taking 2-3 hours to taking 12mins. We made it to the middle of page 2.”

Another writes of their speedy success: “Had my boy yawning in about three minutes and fast asleep in 10.”

There’s one obvious answer (apart from the aforementioned hypno-hoodoo) these kids are out cold before the story’s main character falls asleep/apart: boredom. Still; if these jubilant mums and dads really are so taken with the power of Roger the Rabbit-Rib-Bones, do they plan on reading this same, anaesthetising spiel night after night after night?

Of course, there’s no harm taking a few cues from Ehrlin in terms of keeping to a soothing cadence, and ensuring storytime occurs in a relaxed setting — but this is surely common sense.

I’m just not into conning my child into narcolepsy; and particularly not at the expense of reading something enjoyable – and of actual literary value – together.

But if curiosity (or sleep deprivation) really has got the better of you, check out The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep HERE.