“It’s never too early to be girlie”, declares Girlie Glue site, an online company selling the one product to come to your baby’s beauty-emergency rescue: head-adhesive to stick on hair accessories.
Because newborns – who can barely see past ten inches, by the way – need bows and bling.
The fashion-conscious, infant-decorating brand claims that by affixing some pretty plastic or faux floral fluff, you can avoid those annoying gender gaffs where people mistake your girl-child for a *gasp* boy. (So you can start cultivating that healthy concern over strangers’ opinions early.)
Also, girls – no matter what age! – just wanna look purdy (and real femininity is totally a superficial extension, right?).
The Girlie Glue is reportedly made from agave nectar and “other all-natural ingredients” – because you might want to, uh, eat the stuff after playing glue-the-newborn….??
More seriously, plenty Amazon reviewers do in fact hail the looney product as a life-saver — for photoshoots, pet dress-up, and putting final touchups on Halloween costumes; in other words, everything but gumming your baby’s skullcap like a scrapbooking project.