Stick Stuff to Your Baby’s Head with “Girlie Glue”. (Seriously.)

“It’s never too early to be girlie”, declares Girlie Glue site, an online company selling the one product to come to your baby’s beauty-emergency rescue: head-adhesive to stick on hair accessories.

Baby in pink

And earrings.

Because newborns – who can barely see past ten inches, by the way – need bows and bling.

The fashion-conscious, infant-decorating brand claims that by affixing some pretty plastic or faux floral fluff, you can avoid those annoying gender gaffs where people mistake your girl-child for a *gasp* boy. (So you can start cultivating that healthy concern over strangers’ opinions early.)

Also, girls – no matter what age! – just wanna look purdy (and real femininity is totally a superficial extension, right?).

The Girlie Glue is reportedly made from agave nectar and “other all-natural ingredients” – because you might want to, uh, eat the stuff after playing glue-the-newborn….??

More seriously, plenty Amazon reviewers do in fact hail the looney product as a life-saver — for photoshoots, pet dress-up, and putting final touchups on Halloween costumes; in other words, everything but gumming your baby’s skullcap like a scrapbooking project.